The Family Holiday Tree.

Besides my Mom and Dad, Wren and Dale, I have a huge extended family. Plus there is my best friend Piper, a.k.a Whiz. I include her too. I’ve known her since I was seven and moved here. She’s more like my sister and a best friend. Mom and Dad pick on me about her because we are so close, but I don’t like her in that way.

My family is huge now. My Dad has his sister and she is married to some billionaire. So they are always flying from his private island to our house in Sacramento, California. Or from their house in Texas to here. She is an FBI agent and well…he’s just a billionaire from making smart money decisions. He helps Dad with a lot of his investments. They don’t have any kids. Then there is my Mom’s brother. He’s a firefighter, married, and has tons of kids. I just call them the seven dwarfs plus one. Eight kids total, two sets of twins, one set of triplets, and the single kiddo. It’s like watching The Duggar’s and how they expand their family so quickly. Pop one baby out after another. -groans-

So, I have lots of family…

Family holidays are epic around here. Everyone flies in from wherever they are and gather in our living room. It’s a mad house. Dad gives Aunt Charlie (his sister) a years worth the sausage and has done that forever. I still don’t understand the joke. -shrugs- Or he’s coming up from his lab, which is in the basement of our house (don’t worry, it’s government approved), followed by a cloud of smoke. Mom is special…or at least that is what she says. She has some ability to talk to me in my head. Crazy. It’s like one of those people with the dummies. Most times I try to ignore it. -huffs loudly-

My aunt works for the government. The FBI. She always picks on my Dad. It’s fun when she gets him in a headlock. In return my Dad made her look like a smurf for a week last Christmas. Dad rolled with laughter for DAYS! Then my Uncle Noah (+9) always manages to take out the Christmas tree with the fire hose. He insists water out of the hose or spicket is bad for the tree, “More IRON!”, he says every year. We’ve learned to put up two Christmas trees because of it. One in the main living room and the other in the den. He gets dibs at the one in the den to save the Christmas presents from being wet and soggy.

There’s the adult table, which I get to sit at this year, and then there’s the kiddie table. I end up babysitting all of Uncle Noah’s kids while I’m eating so they don’t choke. Nothing like getting mashed potatoes flung at you in the middle of your own bite of food. Or the cranberry covered hand in your hair as I’m finishing off my apple pie. Milk getting blown out at you because one of them sneezed. So far it has been a success and none of them has choked, and I always have extra napkins handy.

Anything that involves Patron, Dad, and Uncle Noah having the firehouse on standby, with fireworks for holidays (New Year’s Eve and July 4th), ends up with something being blown up or in flames accidentally. Last year it was the shed where we kept all the pool stuff. The year before that was the neighbor’s sauna catching on fire. And the year before that was Dad angling the fireworks wrong and blew a hole in the side of the house. Maybe my Dad should stay away from the fireworks and let Mom or Aunt Charlie do them. -snorts- That will never happen, even if Mom insists.

Like I said, it’s a MADHOUSE!!!

But it’s really fun.

Birthdays are for another time. They’re even better.

My best friend is Piper Hart, aka, Whiz. I met her when I first moved here from Ukraine (she lives next door). We’ve been friends for six years, going on seven this year. She likes math A LOT. So, I started picking on her, calling her Whiz when she beat me by 15 facts in a duel in math class three years ago. She’s really smart. She wears her hair in braids and a pony tail every once in a while. She likes Chucks (aka, Converse); the purple ones are her favorite. She always has a pair of plaid knee socks on. Then she dresses like normal. She dresses in overalls and a t shirt. -thinks she’s more of a nerd than I am-

Then there’s me. I want to be an astronaut so day. Kiel. Brown hair, green eyes, and dresses…like a hipster is what my Dad and Mom both say. I have a thick pair of glasses that are black.  My favorite c Mostly I wear t shirts that have funny sayings on them or superhero logos. My jeans are from Old Navy and I wear DC shoes. Piper calls me Clark, like Superman’s alter ego. Mom and Dad call me Bee. They started calling me that when I moved here. I watched Transformers at least twice a day.


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